Her Mantra is a List

Bays English muffins
3 green bananas
Strawberry yogurt
Half and half
Coffee
Cocktail nuts
White wine
I remember her grocery list
for her now
and the way home
on a slim-laned
road
while she says again
“This road is the same
as it ever was” and
I say “uh huh” again.
And again she
remembers her
grandad letting
her drive the
backroads at 13,
how he never
cared about a permit
because her legs
were long enough &
anyway
he wanted to be
the one who taught
her things like
driving and drying dishes
so she could teach
us those things later.
Later, her
lists are tedious repetitions.
What happened to the car?
Who has my checkbook?
Where are we going?
What day is this?
Where are the kids now?
What’s the plan?
How long has it been since…?
And my answers too:
Your granddaughter drives it now.
I have the checkbook.
To the farm
It’s Tuesday
We’re going to the farm.
Minneapolis, Denver
Bloomington, Cleveland
Columbus, Berkley,
Philadelphia, Richmond
Back to the farm
We ate lunch and sifted through
photos here together just last week.
Weeks are irrelevant, Still,
her best list is the one
she writes shakily every day
on a tiny piece of paper
and has given me repeatedly
each time we’re together.
My daily mantra, she says:
Calm
Grateful
Helpful
Productive
Optimistic