13 (belated)

I wouldn’t go back there,
thirteen, tryin to act 30
eyelashes all greased up
blue shadow n’ loves baby soft
n corduroy hip huggers barely
hugging straight up n down hips
hot iron hair, Vaseline lips.
Six feet tall in platform shoes
guess I wanted to stand out
six feet tall -played volleyball, the
boy in me not quite ready
to give over to pure girl n
thirteen too soon for kissin
sending signals wrong in
basements and paneled
back rooms and all the ways
we’d stand around waiting then
that feelin of smudge and smear
before beatin curfew n the way
my heart beat hot hammers in the
cotton quiet of my midnight room.
Thirteen, lucky I made it home
safe n semi-sound n it wasn’t long
before I had a whole new outlook,
inward-becomin n steppin down
from those ankle-twistin shoes,
into somethin light n easy to find
in the pile by the door, something  made
for easy access, for quick exits n for
runnin away fast.