From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows
Kuebiko n. a state of exhaustion inspired by an act of senseless violence, which forces you to revise your image of what can happen in this world—mending the fences of your expectations, weeding out invasive truths, cultivating the perennial good that’s buried under the surface—before propping yourself up in the middle of it like an old scarecrow, who’s bursting at the seams but powerless to do anything but stand there and watch.
When I was a young girl, around the age of five
My mama put a spell on me to keep my faith alive,
O my Kuebiko
My Kuebiko blues
Yeah, Kuebiko
Why don’t you turn off the news?
She shared rose-colored glasses, she played a happy tune
She worked so hard, told fairytales, she slung a lot of jive
My Kuebiko
Kuebiko blues
Never wanted this for baby
All this bad, bad news.
But now I am a woman of discriminating eye
Mama only wished for me a pretty smile, she wouldn’t let me cry
Kuebiko
These Kuebiko blues
Her protection wouldn’t save me
From so much world-bruising news
I terrorized myself, I studied what is mean
I mostly wanted water, but I played with gasoline*
Kuebiko
Kuebiko Blues
Cracking Illusions
Sorting out the Truth
Here, I’m in the middle, watching everything
The radio says to turn it off, still find some way to sing
Just gimme Kuebiko
Kuebiko Blues
Carry water for the fire, plant a garden
watch it bloom in spite of
all this bad news
* Thanks to Howlin Wolf (I Asked for Water, She Gave Me Gasoline)
Early Morning Poems 